Ricky: "Dear Lord Baby Jesus, or as our brothers in the South call you:
'Jee-suz'. We thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of Dominos,
KFC, and the always delicious Taco Bell. I just want to take time to say
thank you for my family: my two beautiful, beautiful, handsome striking
sons, Walker: Texas Ranger, or TR as we call him. And, of course, my
red hot smokin' wife Carley, who is a stone cold fox, who if you would
rate her *** on 100, it would easily be a 94. I also want to thank you
for my best friend and teammate, Cal Naughton Jr, who's got my back no
matter what...Dear Lord Baby Jesus, we also thank you for my wife's
father Chip. We hope that you can use your Baby Jesus powers to heal him
and his horrible leg. It smells terrible and the dogs are always
botherin' with it. Dear Tiny Infant Jesus..."
Carley (Leslie Bibb) interjected and argued with him about which Jesus
to pray to: "Hey, um... you know, sweetie, Jesus did grow up. You don't
always have to call him baby. It's a bit odd and off puttin' to pray to a
baby."
Ricky: "Well, look, I like the Christmas Jesus best when I'm sayin'
grace. When you say grace, you can say it to Grown-up Jesus, or Teenage
Jesus, or Bearded Jesus, or whoever you want."
Carley: "You know what I want? I want you to do this grace good so that God will let us win tomorrow."
Ricky: "Dear Tiny Jesus, in your golden fleece diapers with your tiny,
little fat balled up fists...Look, I like the baby version the best, do
you hear me? I win the races and I get the money."
Carley: "Finish the damn grace!"
Ricky: "Dear Eight Pound, Six Ounce, Newborn Baby Jesus, don't even know
a word yet, just a little infant, so cuddly, but still omnipotent. We
just thank you for all the races I've won and the $21.2 million
dollars... LOVE THAT MONEY, that I have accrued over this past season.
Also due to a binding endorsement contract that stipulates I mention
PowerAde at each grace, I just wanna say that Powerade is delicious and
it cools you off on a hot summer day and we look forward to PowerAde's
release of mystic mountain blueberry. Thank you, for all your power and
your grace, Dear Baby God, Amen." During the latter part of the prayer,
Cal inserted his own views on which type of Jesus he preferred: "I like
to picture Jesus in a Tuxedo T-shirt, 'cause it says, like, 'I want to
be formal, but I'm here to party, too.' I like to party, so I like my
Jesus to party.... I like to think of Jesus with like giant eagles'
wings and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an Angel
Band, and I'm in the front row, and I'm hammered drunk..."
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